Green Possum

This excerpt is from The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattiek, and has helped me through a lot of hard times.  It was given to me by someone dear, and I read it often.  I want to post it so that others might benefit from it, too:

If another person has an addiction, a problem, a feeling, or a self-defeating behavior, that is their property, not ours.
 If someone is a martyr, immersed in negativity, controlling, or manipulative behavior, that is their issue, not ours.
If someone has acted and experienced a particular consequence, both the behavior and the consequence belong to that person.
If someone is in denial or cannot think clearly on a particular issue, that confusion belongs to him or her.
If someone has a limited or impaired ability to love or care, that is his or her property, not ours.

If someone has no approval or nurturing to give away, that is that person’s property.
People’s lies, deceptions, tricks, manipulations, abusive behaviors, inappropriate behaviors, cheating behaviors, and tacky behaviors belong to them, too. Not us.
People’s hope and dreams are their property.
Their guilt belongs to them too. Their happiness or misery is also theirs.
So are their beliefs and messages.
If some people don’t like themselves, that is their choice.
Other people’s choices are their property, not ours.
What people choose to say and do is their business.

What is our property?
Our property includes our behaviors, problems, feelings, happiness, misery, choices, and messages; our ability to love, care, and nurture; our thoughts, our denial, our hopes and dreams for ourselves. Whether we allow ourselves to be controlled, manipulated, deceived, or mistreated is our business.

To recover, we must learn an appropriate sense of ownership.
If something isn’t ours, we don’t take it.
If we take it, we learn to give it back.
Let other people have their property, and learn to own and take good care of what’s ours.

Today, I will work at developing a clear sense of what belongs to me, and what doesn’t.
 If it’s not mine, I won’t keep it.
I will deal with my issues, my responsibilities, and myself.
I will take my hands off what is not mine.

college is a mixture of memories tied directly to songs tied directly to memories.

Jesus knows our struggles and forgives.

not finishing a crossword puzzle is perfectly acceptable, but never trying is not.

marshmallows are made from clouds and therefore are not bad for you.

in true love.

in laughing until you pee your pants.

in children making silly faces.

sibling rivalry bringing you together in the end.

in apologizing if you’re wrong.

in accepting apologies if they’re offered.

in sitting with someone in the hospital even if it’s just a broken finger.

in having wine, two wine glasses, and cocktail napkins available for an unexpected guest.

rearranging furniture a million times at 2 in the morning.

knowing your parents as parents and then as friends.

sending snail mail - it’s more personal.

reading 4 books at once and never finishing any of them.

standing up for yourself if someone is taking advantage.

in letting children win at go fish or candyland.

hanging out with your grandparents.

that everyone has done things they regret.

you don’t have to raise a plant before you can raise a child (thankfully).

in crying hard and deeply at love stories.

in happy tears and sad tears equally.

that witty sarcasm is some of the funniest humor.

that not all people understand the previous kind of humor and you have to adjust for them.

in the beauty of the mountains and the serenity of a calm pond, lake or sea.

in a summer day in the sun.

adults should play more.

everyone should do more for their community.

family can be more than the people that are related by blood or marriage.

God is not confined to a building… ever.

accents are hilarious and beautiful and a cultural experience.

everyone should develop their own sense of style.

in trying to be “green” which is also just being a good steward of the earth that God gave us - RECYCLE! TURN OFF LIGHTS! WALK!

that exercising and eating well is good for you - I just need to remember it more often.

you should only kill animals to eat, and if you don’t be prepared to give it to someone that can eat it.

in the color green.

in celebrating birthdays, no matter the age.

buying gifts for others is more fun and rewarding than purchasing for yourself.

in supporting the dreams of others.

in watching stars with someone that you care about.

in keeping friends’ secrets.

going to movies alone is perfectly acceptable.

every girl should know how to shoot a gun.

abortion is wrong - no matter what.

too many extra ciricular activities for kids can be negative.

i’m a city mouse and a country mouse equally.

art and crafts are essential to culture.

in visiting museums.

in adoption.

in the beauty of life and all of its intricacies.

in love.

So, I determined that I need to be a better friend.  I always wait for others to make the first move.  Make the effort.  Make the time.  Make the request.  Make the party details. 

I realized today that I don’t make a good friend.  I’m a selfish friend.  I wait for others to do the work to keep us attached.  I guess that’s why so many of my friends have fallen by the wayside.  Is it because I don’t care about them?  I don’t think so… I certainly hope that’s not the case. 

Regardless, I’m going to do a better job.  Call up more friends to see how they’re doing.  Make an effort to plan the get-togethers.  As of today, I’ve sent an evite to have a party at my house for the Grey’s Anatomy Season Finale.  No big deal, but it’s about the memories and time together - not the event. Next month I’m going to Nashville.  I’m hoping to spend some time with friends from college.  I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me sooner to search for people whereever I go.  I think it might hinge on my insecurities… What if they don’t remember me?  What if they are annoyed by the thought of seeing me?  What if I don’t live up to the expectations they had of me?  It’s easier just to fade into the background of their lives than try to explain why my life is what it is now.

But one thing - my life is good.  There is no reason for me to apologize for it or hide it in any way.  We all have experiences.  I hope mine have made me better, stronger, healthier, more the me I’ve ever been.  And even now I’m still making mistakes, blunders, and new friends along the way… that I promise to keep in touch with and not let fade away into the shoe box of memories hidden away under my bed.

I’m not even sure how to spell funnel - is f.u.n.n.e.l correct? 
No matter - I saw one.  A “funnel” cloud.  It dropped out of the sky beneath a heaven of clouds. A solid mass of grey matter with a white horizon line below it.  It was miraculous.  While I could think “thank God it’s so far away from us”, I also thought, “how amazing?!”  God created that cloud.  He created the possibility of that cloud.

Amber and I prayed to God for our safety, security, wise decision making, and clear heads as we drew nearer to the storm.  There was a place to stop that was safe and secure and we made the right decision, with guidance, to stop and take shelter from the storm.  It moved past us no more than two miles away - an amazing site.  I willk never forget my first siting of a funnel cloud - and the fact that I didn’t get hit by it!!!

Once upon a time, where the Cimarron flows, Morgan and Amber ventured to a small college community for work.  The name of the small town was Stillwater, but with the arrival of Morgan and Amber, the waters weren’t quite as “still” as normal.  They caused quite a stir with their shiny cars and computers.  Their level of technology surpassed all that was in the town – even more than what was at the museum of wrestling. The purpose of their visit was to uncover the secrets of a struggling physical ailment clinic.  Little did they know what was about to ail them.  The secret was stored in the water – the hot, chemically saturated water of the Stillwater department of natural resources. Morgan and Amber began, as usual, training the townspeople according the new water policies and procedures.  The townspeople were frightened by the pictures of the flesh eating bacteria that could infest their town if they were to drink or touch the water from the physical ailment center. For the next week, everyone near Stillwater took the utmost precautions.  However, the winds of change were about to blow with the arrival of an Eskimo named Joe.  The Eskimo, Joe, was not aware of the trouble that lurked in the tepid waters.  No one in Stillwater knew that the Eskimo, Joe, had a special gift.  His special gift was that if he touched the water with his hands, he would change colors.  The town found out about his gift quickly, and wondered, “how will this help us?”  Morgan and Amber called a meeting in the town hall.  All the town folk came to hear what they had to say.  Unfortunately, before they began to speak, the town hall was overtaken by a flock of angry geese.  All of the people ran for their lives, scattering from the angry, vicious geese.  Amber and Morgan tried to stop them, knowing that the geese were not dangerous, but their efforts were in vain.  As the geese began to cry, Amber and Morgan told them they would buy them a beer with tomato juice at Stonewall Tavern to ease their pains.   The geese agreed and they all ventured down Washington Strip for a drink.  Luckily the bartender stayed behind, having skipped out on the town meeting, and was there to serve up delicious cocktails for the group of new friends.   From that day forward, while Amber and Morgan never wanted to visit the tiny town of Stillwater again, they still remained friends with the Eskimo, Joe, and the friendly, yet scary geese from the town campus.  They never left their numbers for the townspeople to find them.  The end. 

I’ve been talking about art, especially photography, today with my friend, Beth Morgan (see her blog link on the right b mo foto).  We were discussing the juxtaposition of beauty against trash in photography.  Putting a gorgeous bride in her gown on a pile of rubble makes for a daring highlight of her beauty.  She stands out even more. Brighter, purer, glowing from within. 

We were coming up with other ways that juxtaposition could happen - placing things in odd situations or positions.  Like a bride on a subway. A beautiful young woman in a cigar lounge surrounded by old men. A girl all decked out, but with a shot gun in her hand.  Then we remembered the american gothic picture and thought it would be a great shot for a wedding pic, too - to have the stone faced bride and groom together. 

I love when I talk to Beth or any friend that brings out that creativity in me.  I long for it sometimes and I get so excited when someone spurs me on toward finding it.  Here are a few things I’ve seen today online that I’ve really enjoyed:

CUSTOM MOLESKINES!

I made this card for my mom, only it said “thank you for visiting me”
Mom, if you’re reading this, it’s on it’s way! LOVE YOU! 

Fabulous rings by Dillon Design
 

I went running yesterday - first time in awhile.  It was a beautiful day.  The sun was shining, a breeze was blowing, children were playing in the yards and I had the perfect music blaring on my ipod.  I felt amazing. I wasn’t even physically hurting until I fell. Hard. Fast. Onto the rough, unforgiving concrete. Admittedly, a few profanities slipped out as my knee and hands cought the brunt of my weight. I felt ashamed and annoyed with myself for letting my mind wander and losing my footing. 

Later in the evening,  I was talking to a friend about how embarrassed I was and I said, “You know what, we all fall sometimes.”   It’s true.  In addition to falling physically onto the concrete, I’ve been falling in many other ways lately.  Emotionally, Spiritually, Faithfully.  I’ve lost sight of God in it and somewhere along the way I lost my footing. 

When I fell running, I thought about my parents and the nickname they gave me because I was such a klutz - Grace.  How ironic it is that the sarcasm of the name is actually a perfect gift of God. 

God knows that we fall.  In fact, he expects us to, and he knows there is nothing we can do but turn to him, ask for forgiveness, and wrap ourselves up in His Grace.  He sent Jesus to experience life as a man - to know the temptations we face, to understand the difficulties we endure living in a fallen world.  And He gave up Jesus so that His grace and forgiveness would cover us.  We may fall, but as long it’s at the feet of jesus, Grace abides. 

We Fall Down
We fall down
We lay our crowns
At the feet of Jesus
The greatness of mercy and love
At the feet of Jesus
We cry holy, holy, holy
We cry holy, holy, holy
We cry holy, holy, holy
Is the lamb
We fall down
We lay our crowns
At the feet of Jesus
The greatness of
Mercy and love
At the feet of Jesus
We cry holy, holy, holy
We cry holy, holy, holy
We cry holy, holy, holy
Is the lamb
We cry holy, holy, holy
We cry holy, holy, holy
We cry holy, holy, holy
Is the lamb

My Jesus, I love you
I know thou are mine
To thee all the follies of sin I resent
My gracious redeemer
My savior, art thou
If ever I’ll love you
My Jesus tis’ now

Friends+Thursdays+LOTS OF WINE=bad idea…… My head is pounding, and my house is a wreck (except of course what my dear friend, Jenny G, cleaned - sweet angel!). 

I’m pretty sure “wine club” should be moved to a FRIDAY!  Anyone agree?

There is nothing I can write that sums up the accuracy of the simple, complex, acutely aware poem called “love” by lola haskins:

she tries it on like a dress
decides it doesn’t fit
starts to take it off
her skin comes too

While I’ve been in a dressing room with such a dress - even brought it home and fallen asleep in it while watching reruns - I’ve decided to do a bit more window shopping lately.  I’m steering cleer of the low prices, going out of business, clearance, and deep discount signs and instead, doing a bit more browsing. 

Many women have a keen eye and can find the best deal at a fancy boutique or a hidden treasure at the consignment shop.  But what about the dresses that lure the unsuspecting buyer in with sequens, plush fabrics, hidden seams, and couture brands?  Are they all they’re cracked up to be?  What about the used and abused dresses?  The ones on the back rack, tried on by woman after woman - are they always throw aways?  Should you avoid the rack at all costs, or could there be a hidden treasure? 

Is it better to go on a shopping mission, or browse more often and see if something surprises you?  What if you buy a dress and it turns out that there was a better deal at the next store?  Do you keep the tags on and the receipt stored away just in case you decide on another dress? Or once it’s bought, do you head straight home so that you aren’t tempted anymore? 

If only men knew how many questions women have when it comes to finding the perfect dress.  If you know where to find a perfect fit, let me know.  I have the perfect occassion to wear it.